Couples Therapy in Broomfield and Online Across Colorado
Feel heard again, soften old hurts, and find your way back to each other.
You used to be the first person they called.
Now you're not sure what to say when they walk in the door.
Maybe the fights all sound the same. Dishes, money, sex, whose turn it is to plan the weekend. Or maybe there aren't fights anymore. Just two people being polite in the same house.
You still love each other. You just can't seem to reach each other.
Couples therapy gives you a place to slow the pattern down and see what's really happening between you. Not who's right. What's happening.
I offer couples therapy in person in Broomfield, CO, and online for couples anywhere in Colorado.
When the Same Fight Keeps Finding You
It starts small. A comment about the dishes. A text that went unanswered for three hours. Ten minutes later, you're not talking about the dishes anymore. You're talking about every time you felt alone in this relationship.
Maybe one of you pushes to talk it out right now. The other goes quiet or leaves the room. The harder one reaches, the further the other pulls away. You both hate this dance. Neither of you knows how to stop it.
You might notice yourself:
Rehearsing what you'll say, because you already know how it will go
Feeling like a roommate or a manager instead of a partner
Keeping score of who does more, even though you don't want to
Avoiding sex, or having it to keep the peace
Saying "I'm fine" because it's easier than another fight
For some couples, the hurt is sharper. There's been an affair or a betrayal. You want to forgive. You also can't stop checking their phone.
And if one or both of you is neurodivergent, the misses can feel constant. One of you forgets the thing that mattered. The other carries the mental load until resentment spills over. Silence gets heard as rejection.
"Why can't we just get this right?"
You're not stuck because you don't care. You're stuck because the pattern has been running the show. And patterns can change.
You're Not a Bad Couple. You're a Stuck One.
Most couples hit a point where love isn't the problem. Getting through to each other is.
When you feel disconnected from your partner, your nervous system reads it as a threat. So it protects you. For one partner, that looks like pushing harder and needing to fix it right now. For the other, it looks like going numb, getting defensive, or shutting down.
Neither of you is choosing this. But each partner's protection sets off the other's alarm, and the cycle feeds itself.
Old wounds make it louder. The fight about tone is also about every time you were told you were too much. Neurodivergence adds another layer. Time blindness, rejection sensitivity, and sensory overload can turn everyday moments into misunderstandings. That's not a character flaw. It's two brains working differently without a shared map.
Your relationship isn't broken. And a cycle you can see is a cycle you can change.
What Happens If Nothing Changes
Cycles like this rarely fix themselves. They just get quieter.
You stop bringing things up because it's not worth the fight. You stop reaching for each other because you're tired of being missed. The relationship starts running on logistics. Resentment fills the space where closeness used to be.
It spills into the rest of your life, too. You're short with your kids. You're distracted at work. You start wondering if you just picked wrong.
The longer a pattern runs, the more normal it feels. Not because it's working. Because it's familiar. You don't have to wait until things fall apart to get help.
Imagine Feeling Like a Team Again
Imagine bringing up something that bothers you and actually being heard. No bracing. No rehearsing.
Imagine one of you saying, "I think we're doing the thing again," and the other one laughing instead of digging in.
Imagine your partner going quiet after a hard day, and knowing it means they need twenty minutes to decompress. Not that they're pulling away.
Imagine a repair that takes ten minutes instead of three days.
You don't have to become different people to get there. You just need to understand the people you already are.
How Couples Therapy Helps You Break the Cycle
Couples therapy isn't about picking a winner. It's about helping you both see the pattern clearly enough to step out of it together.
What My Approach Feels Like
I'm warm, but I'm also direct. When things start to escalate, I'll slow you down. When something important gets said, I'll make sure it lands. And I won't let either of you become "the problem." My job is to understand what each of you is protecting.
What to Expect When We Start
Before we meet, each partner fills out an online questionnaire on their own. Then we start with a joint session, so I can hear how each of you sees the relationship and what brought you in.
Next, I meet with each of you one-on-one. This gives you room to share your history and what's been hardest for you, at your own pace. It also helps me understand what each of you brings into the cycle.
Then we come back together. With a clear picture of your strengths and stuck spots, we build a plan that fits your relationship. In joint sessions, you'll practice new skills on the exact conflicts that keep tripping you up. You may leave with a small assignment, like a conversation to try or a ritual to build.
How the Work Leads to Real Change
You'll stop fighting each other and start fighting the cycle. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps you see the pattern you get caught in and the needs underneath it. When you can name what you're really asking for, your partner can finally hear it.
You'll learn to fight in a way that brings you closer. The Gottman Method gives you tools to start hard talks gently, calm down when things heat up, and repair afterward.
You'll understand the parts that take over. With Internal Family Systems (IFS), you'll get to know the parts that criticize or shut down during conflict, with curiosity instead of blame.
You'll heal the wounds that keep getting poked. When today's fight sits on an old injury, like childhood hurt or an affair, EMDR helps those memories stop running the show.
You'll build a relationship that fits your brains. If either of you is neurodivergent, we'll create agreements that match how you actually function.
I work with all kinds of relationships, including LGBTQIA+ couples and polycules.
Why Couples Choose to Work With Me
Hi, I'm Anna Khandrueva, LCSW. I'm a trauma and relationship therapist with a soft spot for couples who love each other but keep missing each other.
Most couples therapy assumes both partners handle stress and conflict the same way. That can leave one person feeling blamed and the other unheard. I work differently.
As a late-diagnosed AuDHD therapist, I know what it's like to be told you're too much. I bring that understanding into the room. Your differences aren't problems to fix. They're patterns to understand.
I'm also trauma-trained, which matters more in couples work than most people realize. So many relationship fights are old wounds wearing new clothes.
My training includes:
Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Level 2
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Core Skills
Relational and family systems training through the Denver Family Institute
EMDR and Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Specialized work with neurodivergent couples, including ADHD, autism, and AuDHD
Frequently Asked Questions About Couples Therapy
-
That's common. Often one partner is ready and the other is worried about being blamed. A free consultation lets your partner ask questions and see how I work first. Many reluctant partners relax once they see therapy isn't about ganging up on anyone.
-
If you're both willing to show up, it's rarely too late. Even couples who feel very far apart can find their way back. And sometimes therapy helps you realize it's time to part ways. Either way, you'll decide with clarity instead of in the middle of a fight.
-
It might feel harder before it feels better. Talking about what you've avoided can stir up big feelings. But you won't be doing it alone. I'll help you slow down and work through hard moments without causing more damage.
-
Yes. We'll work on rebuilding trust, understanding what led to the affair, and helping the hurt partner process the betrayal. EMDR can help with intrusive images and that constant on-alert feeling. The goal isn't to rush forgiveness. It's to help you both decide what comes next.
-
Yes. Absolutely, yes.
If you’ve had to ask this question before walking into a therapist’s office, I get it. Maybe you’ve sat across from someone who meant well but needed you to explain your relationship before they could help with it. You shouldn’t have to do that here.
My practice is LGBTQIA+ affirming, and that includes couples work. Gay, lesbian, bi, trans, nonbinary, queer, questioning. Your relationship is welcome as it is. We’ll spend our time on what brought you in, like communication, conflict, trust, or feeling disconnected. Not on defending who you are.
It’s not too late to find your way back to each other
Reaching out for couples therapy isn't admitting something is wrong. It's admitting your relationship matters enough to fight for, instead of with each other.
You don't need the right words yet. That's what we'll figure out together.
If you're ready to stop having the same fight and start feeling like a team again, book a free 15-minute consultation. You can meet me in person in Broomfield or online from anywhere in Colorado.
